Thanks, brain

I am not a huge fan of Channing Tatum. I just … don’t get the appeal. Sexually. He’s simply not my ideal type, I guess. But, I have to respect him. I want to respect him. I mean, sure, he doesn’t take himself seriously and people I admire have only good things to say about him. (Gabriel Iglesias and Seth Rogen, for example. For further evidence, see Gabriel’s special where he talks about Magic Mike and Seth’s interview on MTV about filming This Is The End. There were animal crackers, man. Animal crackers)

But then it was announced that he was going to play Gambit. My Gambit. My favorite super hero and a character I’ve had a rather large crush on over the years.


No one is going to be a good enough Gambit, I’m aware of this. So outside of a few “oh no”s and “are you kidding me?”s I just grumbled and vowed never to see it. Or, at least, never admit to seeing it.

We were on rocking ground, Tatum and I, but it might have settled. If not for the announcement that he might be a Ghostbuster in the new “male only” Ghostbusters movie.

Now, I’m not going to go into how much that whole concept pisses me off, because I’ll be here all day if I do. Just know that Tatum had been relegated to my shit list. Ironically, not because of anything he did, really. I mean, could I blame him for taking two roles that defined my childhood? We’re about the same age, for all I know they defined his as well. It was just that I could not tolerate the “well at least we get to see Hotty McHotterson” comments.

Again, he’s not my ideal.

And the worst part is, this makes me the jerk! I mean, how is it his fault that women are fawning over him and that irks me because I don’t see it? It’s not. There is no rational way to justify that.

So, as I’m feeling guilty I open Bad Luck to finish fixing the end. Now, I wrote this for NaNoWriMo in 2013. That’s November of 2013. And I get to this scene where the characters are discussing who would play them in the movie version, and find this gem:

E:”I want Channing Tatum to play me.”
T:”E, you look nothing like Channing Tatum.”

Seriously, brain, fuck you. The only logic I can come up with for selecting Channing Mother Fucking Tatum is the same reason that I dislike the asshole. Everyone else seems to love him. I am such an asshole.

Also, hilariously, there was this later in the scene:

I:”I think I’d want that guy from ‘Friday Night Lights.’ The one with the drinking problem that went to jail.”
A:”Taylor Kitsch?”

So basically my entire life revolves around Gambit. And you know what? I’m okay with that.

So did the two Gambits make the final cut? Well you’ll just have to stay tuned for more information regarding Bad Luck. I had hoped to finish it last night, but like a little bitch as soon as I think I’m done, more words show up. We’re getting there, though. Closing in on the finale. And it’s going to be a rough one, folks.

I can’t wait for everyone to read it.


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